Tick's Tick's Tick's!!!!

LOOK VERY CLOSELY! THOSE LITTLE SPOTS AROUND THE RABBIT ARE HUNDREDS OF TICKS. THE SIZE OF THE TIP OF A SHARP PENCIL.

Routines are always normally uneventful. Taking the trash out, doing the dishes, feeding the dog, watering the garden area, or letting the dog go outside are all things we do without thinking and topically they are done without interruption. One will do it without thinking and move on to the next thing. Sometimes, just sometimes the routine changes and a normal everyday act becomes much more then just a simple quick routine.

This morning a routine turned into just that. Layla (my dog) whimpered at the back door to be let out. She only does this when she see's something in the yard and would like to get at it. These things can be rabbits (we have a tune of them), squirrels and sometimes birds that annoy her. She never catches them. It's always surprised me because she is a very fast herding dog who can get up to 35 mph. I know this because I clocked her at it when I was racing her on a small tractor out in Ohio. I don't even know if she tops at that speed because we ran out of dirt road but still... I think that's rather fast for a dog. So, for the last 6 years Layla has been obsessing about small animals (big ones too when on the trail running) her whole life never to actually "get" one.

We all know what this is leading up to. I'm in the kitchen with my baby and I hear my guy yelling at Layla to "leave it." The second time I hear him say it I know it's something different the normal. Knowing she only responds to me I rush outside to reconfirm the command only to see her all the way across the yard (we have a large yard!) shaking something in her mouth. I know instantly without really seeing that she has finally caught the young daring rabbit that has been hopping around the yard the past couple weeks. Thankfully Layla hears my voice and lets the rabbit go as I hand baby off to dad and rush over to see what damage she's done. Normally once a dog get's the taste of blood they change and become ever harder to control but she's heard my command voice and thankfully her training has paid off.

The young rabbit is not dead... poor thing. Despite the mass amount that I see I can't help but feel bad and I take my socks off and scoop it up. It had one puncture wound near it's belly so I rush inside to get a cardboard box for it. Sadly we watch it die shortly after getting it inside the box.

Now you ask yourself... what does this have to do with Lyme? It's a sad story and yes we've heard it hundreds of times. Dog's do these things and one day they are liable to catch something. You see the problem is that a little over a month ago I was bitten by a tick. Having a new baby I hadn't really been in the great outdoors and knew the only place that I picked that tick up was our own back yard. As you recall I freaked out and treated our yard for the pest and had a very hard time stepping foot into our grass after.

I placed the rabbit on the ground in the box to do a little training with my dog. I just didn't want her picking up germs but I still wanted her scarring the rabbits away. Before I got started I noticed things crawling in the box. I looked closer because they were so small and I thought they might be flees which are such a pain to get rid of! Sadly I was mistaken. The rabbits fur was coming alive as at least a hundred tinny nymph ticks were dropping off. It was like the rabbit dieing was their bus stop and they were all hopping off at the stop. When I say a hundred I am not exaggerating. They were very small little specks that moved. Some larger some smaller.

Freak out number two for me this summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a feeling that these small seemingly harmless creatures were bringing ticks into our yard. Now I know. I am haunted by what I saw. The ticks are so small how would you know you had one in you? They are like a speck of dirt that you would brush off your arm or so small you wouldn't even think to brush off. There was SO many on just one little animal and suddenly I look at my dog and am discussed with all the fur she has. How many could she have on her? The drops you treat them will only kill the tick if they bite and often they are only on for the ride. Is she a bus for them too? How in God's name am I supposed to protect my yard from these invisible creatures when they hitch rides on animals I can't control? Will my little girl ever get to roll around in the grass? Will we ever have picnics on a blanket? How many of these are on me now? The questions flood my mind.

The Meltdown I Never Had

Two days ago I walked into our backyard and watered the Cherry Blossom tree that we had planted for our daughter and the large plot of grass we were attempting to regrow. It's a routine I do every day.

My daughter and I came inside after and took our afternoon nap and while she was still asleep I took a quick shower. It was when I was drying off that I found it... there on the side of my butt cheek was a small very red rash. Upon closer examination there was unmistakeably a small tick sticking out of the middle!!!

Stunned pause.

I freak out! Normally I am very composed but the following is a melt down I never had over the three years I fought Lyme.

I pulled that tick out so fast and ran and grabbed a baggie to save it. Still naked I looked over the rest of my body looking for any more small invading killers and then ran and woke my daughter up (she was outside with me) to strip her naked. Not finding any on her (Thank God) I take another look at my new found rash. It's not the bulls eye rash but then again the first time I never even had a rash let alone a tick.

I place my stunned naked baby in her crib and (still unclothed myself) run around the house frantically searching for my phone. I curse myself in not keeping it in one place for moments when my brain is not functioning but running on pure endorphins. When i finally locate it I call... oh man who do I call in the middle of the day when everyone else is at work? My mom. Yes, I called my mother who lives in Tucson, Arizona.

When she picks up I had a hard time getting my words out. As if just speaking the words would make it really real and the experience of the last several years and what Lyme cost me floods my thoughts. "Mom, I (choke) found a tick on me and, and... I already have a, a rash." I start crying and can't speak. She does what I needed her to do and tells me to call my doctor right away to get on meds.

As I wait for my doctor to call back I run to the store and talk to someone about how to treat my yard. Then I go to the pet store and grab dip for my dog. Needless to say, about $125 later I'm home with enough bug treatment that I'm sure we'll be bug free for a while.

The rest of the day my skin is crawling. It's one thing to be out on a hike or nature walk and come across ticks but to find one ON ME in my own house from my own back yard that I thought was controlled really freaks me out.

The next day... I walk outside to water the grass area and tree and I stand on the edge of the cemented patio looking at the tree on the other side of the yard. It never seemed so far away but there is a good amount of grass that I would have to walk through to get to it. It seems like forever away in my sandled feet and I imagion ticks crouching on each of the thousands of grass blades waiting to pounce and burrow their heads into my vulnerable skin.

I've never been an over dramatic person. While fighting Lyme I was still able to keep my composure by keeping my eye on the ball and taking measured deliberate strides towards my own healing. I never really stopped to think about the after affects of my experience. The major fear I have now of the small creatures that can tear my life apart slowly and painfully. I never thought of the nightmares I would have about my own daughter and her ability to play outside freely like I did as a child. Or how I would never have the urge to go camping or back packing again out of the fear.

As I stood at the edge of my safe zone in my yard wishing I could get enough confidence to walk to the tree I asked myself if I would let the ticks win today? Yes, I thought. Today I will let them win because I am still emotionally getting over yesterday, but tomorrow... I'll walk to the edge again and ask the same question. If there is one thing I learned it's that tomorrow is another day and sometimes it's OK to try again as long as I continue trying.

Kara Welcome to the world

March 25th, 2011 my daughter was born. A beautiful healthy little girl!

We were successful in having a non-medicated natural birth. At the last minute we discovered that she was breach, but we were still able to have a quick easy birth. Just 10 hours of labor and no tears or loss of blood. My midwifes told me it's as though my body was meant to have babies. Go figure, I am a women!

It's now three months after her birth and three weeks ago I started running! Oh the excitement of lacing up my running shoes, snapping on my dogs leash and heading out. The labored breathing, the sweat, and my pounding heart beat was music to my ears. It's like I can ballance myself again finally after 4 years.

Starting slow! 1.5 mile run every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and walking Tuesday and Wednesday and swimming on Saturday mornings. My workouts are only 30 minutes because I am breastfeeding and that in of itself can make me tired. I figured from doing nothing a 30 minute workout is a good strong start.

My baby is wonderful (she sleeps through most nights) and I feel great!

February And Going Strong

I would like to report that it is February and I am now 33 weeks pregnant and still feeling amazing! I still have energy to work a full day come home and make a healthy dinner. Yes, that's about all I can really do and if I go past that I tend to get a little more moody, it is still more then I was able to do when I was ill.

I am in my third trimester and still have more energy then when I was sick which is an amazing feeling. I do know that most of the hormones can really help with joint pain which means we wont know how my joints are till after the baby is born. It's been an uncomplicated pregnancy and we're crossing our fingers that it continues to remain so.

Just two more months till the baby is due! I'm looking forward to meeting my new little girl/boy.

Life Changes

When you are ill for a lengthy amount of time with no real finish line or light at the end of the dark tunnel ahead of you one sometimes withdraws. Once my third treatment started I will admit that I withdrew. To successfully get through the withdraw stage of illness a person first has to accept that they are withdrawing and that the withdraw is completely acceptable. Embracing this can only help move you forward and onto the next steps of dealing with the unknowns.

The third treatment was completely different. I was on three different antibiotics and diet and I took an extra month after being taken off of them to recover and work on building up my body again before returning to work. Once I returned to work it was like night and day compared to the last two returns. My brain was functioning, my energy was becoming better and better and my overall sense of my body was returning to me. My co-workers and boss also noticed the major change in my behavior which was such a positive thing to have. Still, I was somewhat reluctant to really take it as a defeat as I was concerned about possibly having my success taken away from me as I had before. So, I was ever more careful about my schedule and kept to a strict routine with my diet, sleep and activities. It appeared to be what I needed.

Sadly, the last thing that my illness could take from my daily life activities was my job and it finally took that with it as well. 45 days after my return my office “let me go” which was disappointing and a relief all at once. After having been ill for as long as I was with an invisible illness it was difficult to get the understanding from my peers. I knew prior to returning that if I wanted to continue to build my career that once I was well again it would be important for me to find another team. Once people develop an opinion of you it is challenging to change it and in most cases it’s better to move on so that you can move up.

While this was a challenge in of itself as losing a job is a play with pride. It was difficult to wrap my head around and even more frustrating knowing that it was directly correlated with my illness. When I find myself at the bottom… I know that the only way to go is up and I felt the best I had felt in three years which gave me a new sense of confidence.

Then, something even better happened; 6 months after being taken off of my drugs I started to feel better and better. As a women I started noticing that my cycle was going back to normal along with everything else. I have always tracked my cycle which has benefited me a great deal in knowing my body! When I started noticing this I pulled my ever faithful companion aside to talk about possibly using birth control again. We had chosen to refrain from it when I was on all of the drugs attempting to not play with the norm as much as we could. I was on enough drugs as it was. At the end of June we started to look at our options to make our choice. I was starting to get excited because I felt so great and I had now been off of the drugs longer then I had been in three years!

On July 24th, 2010 (my 28th birthday) I discovered that I was pregnant. Surprise!! We hadn’t changed anything, yet here I was looking at a stick with TWO lines on it when I was used to seeing ONE! I had a follow up appointment with my Lyme Doctor (Doctor R) that week which was a relief because I had a bunch of questions for him with the new development.

Dr. R looked at me with this smile that I hadn’t ever seen on him before and he started to get excited. “A, do you know what this means?” my response, “ummmm…” Dr. R, “A, if your body was still ill and couldn’t handle a pregnancy then it would not have allowed you to get pregnant!” Dr. R was excited. Needless to say I am now 24 weeks pregnant and I feel better than I have felt in over three years. My energy is wonderful and even pregnant my brain is back to normal and I can remember things again. My pregnancy has gone swimmingly without any complications or challenges. I would have to say that I am more than halfway there and any of my concerns about the pregnancy have been in vain. If I was still ill, I would have relapsed by now or even had issues with the pregnancy but instead, as I sit here typing at 9:30pm I have made it through the day without a three hour nap and my baby is kicking up a storm inside me.

I have completely finished the chapter of fighting Lyme disease, and have started a new chapter! I plan on keeping tabs on how my pregnancy goes and how breast feeding and my baby comes along. It seems like there isn’t a lot of information out there about having a baby after Lyme disease and I would like to add to the small amount that is out there. I had to wait to write this post until I had the chance to tell all of my family!

2011 brings me a new year with a completely new and different life. My baby is due March 31st and I am looking forward to meeting the little one who brings with him/her a new happiness after such a long fight.

The Climb

The last two months have been challenging. I started IV treatment the Monday before Thanksgiving (November 23rd, 2009) Two weeks later I asked my doctor to do his best no mater the cost or what insurance would cover. He added Clarithromycin to my treatment and we continued the IV for an extra two weeks. The extra weeks were out of pocket. I was lucky that my family all scraped together to help me cover the cost. Without them I would not have been able to afford it. This time, the IV treatment went well without any major issues. I was even able to continue my sleeping schedule in preparation of going back to work.

On January 6th, 2010, we removed the pic line and continued Doxy orally and then added yet another drug to go with the doxy and clarithromycin called metronidazole or known as flagel. I started throwing up on this new drug. I have the classic symptoms of a pregnant women. Some foods I can't eat and some I can't even smell without getting ill. I learned how to balance taking them (Flagel every 8 hours and doxy and clarith when I wake up and when I go to bed) so that they didn't cause me to throw up. I also learned what foods were ok and which ones hurt through trial and error. My stomach is always in pain now but it's more tolerable then throwing up and I think I have it manageable now.

The other side affect was an extra amount of exhaustion. I would stand up and be extremely dizzy, and walking up the stairs felt like I just tried to sprint a 200m race even though I took them slowly. There were moments of lashing out at my guy from over sensitivity and other moments where I would take a shower in the morning and end up back in bed in tears because I just couldn't do anything. It's been a very rough three weeks.

Two weeks ago I started getting weekly massages. I HIGHLY suggest this if you can afford it. I can not explain what a large difference that they have made on me. Not only do they help flush out any toxins but it energies me. They really started to make me feel different.

5 days ago, I felt like walking. It was 50 outside and the sun was out which felt so nice. I didn't walk far but the fact that I felt like doing it was almost as though I was breaking through something. I suffered shin splints from walking... which was odd but I was wearing boots. I switched to running shoes and that fixed the issue. I've been walking every other day and feeling a lot better. At this time, I still have to take a nap after but it's well worth it.

The flagel is what made me really crash physically/mentally. It was harder this time to look on the positive. It's taken me this long struggling to find something to write here but finding nothing but negative depressing thoughts. I just wasn't motivated. It was as though I was still morning the fact that this time last year... I was going through the exact same thing.

It's ok to go into a dark cave for a while, but if your strong you have to climb out eventually.

The positive to all of this was that people are starting to notice that I appear to be losing weight. I feel that this is a combination of the meds, and my carefully measured eating habits. Now that I am starting to show some improvements on the meds, it's time to start building my life back up... slowly and carefully measured!

Food Food Food!!!!

I LOVE food. Back when I was actively participating in Tri's some people used to ask me why I did them and I used to joke that it was so that I could eat whatever I wanted to.

I was one of the lucky kids who's family actually "made" their food. Dinner was always a big thing at the end of the day and making it was just as big a thing. To top it off my mother was a midwife (not the crazy kind but the educated kind, just to clear that up!) and part of being a good midwife is nutrition. I was home schooled when I was in 8th grade and my mom used to take me to collage lectures on nutrition and other medical odds and ends. I'm lucky that I was exposed to these things early on in my life because when it comes to cooking and understanding my food I consider myself to be experienced. I'm not a nutritionist by all means... but I have a very good understanding of food unlike a lot of my peers.

My new allergies as well as my new medication (with a bad side-affect of metal taste, nauseousness, and vomiting) has increased my awareness that if I get to eat, it better be something good cause I only get to put so much down. It's been extremely challenging.

One night, rolled up in bed wanting to just die from the unusual feeling exhaustion/ nauseousness, I pulled myself out of bed and painfully wondered into the kitchen desperate for something to ease my stomach pain and take the awful taste out of my mouth. First thing I saw was a lime which I, shaking, split into pieces and stuffed into my mouth... big mistake. The acidic level of the lime kinda exacerbated the metal taste. So the next thing in my mind to help was ginger. Something my asian guy always has in the fridge.

You can imagine what placing a raw piece of ginger into my mouth did... it burned badly but took my mind off everything else and for the moment that I could stand it it was well worth the pain. I tried dipping it in sugar and sucking on it but that didn't really help dissipate the burning pain very much.

After that desperate night I searched for other options. Here is some things I found:

Ginger

Ginger Nutrition Facts

• Ginger is a GREAT food to fend off nauseousness and even curb the metallic taste in the mouth. At the moment it's the only thing that works for me.
• You can eat too much Ginger. From what I found you should only eat 1g dried ginger or two cups of tea a day.

Here are some different forms of ginger:

1. Ginger Tea

• I found a good forum that has some ginger tea recipes that are really good for you here. It's really easy to make!

2. Pickled sushi ginger

• There is less of the burn feeling in the mouth. I like the pink kind that you can get from an Asian Market is more sweet and easy to pop in mouth at desperate moments. It's by far my most favorite option.

3. Crystallized ginger

• Normally covered in sugar and therefore not as good for you. I also find that it's just like biting into a fresh bit of ginger with a strong bite to it. Not my favorite option but some people like it.

Cabbage:

• Surprisingly is full of a lot of benefits that I was unaware of. You can look up some of the info on the same website for the ginger above at Health 24.
• Did you know that it has more pro biotic benefits then yogurt? For someone who is allergic to the most common pro biotic supplements including yogurt I was surprised to find this bit of information. You can eat too much of this just like ginger however.
• To keep the "potency of nutrients" it can't be cooked for too long. It's an easy thing to cook and eat with rice. I just boil a thin layer of water in a covered pan, place strips of cabbage inside and add a little butter, salt and pepper (sometimes some lemon chicken seasoning can be really good!) and cook covered for 5 min or until the leaf's just start to change in firmness. Ymm, so good! It has really started to ease my stomach issues in the long hall.

Fresh veggies are just plain good for you. I could continue going on about what I have researched and I might start adding recipes that have helped here. There are things out there to help curb the challenges of taking mass amounts of meds. The options are endless and a lot of fun to discover.