Information is Power

About a month ago I decided to get tested for food allergies. I’ve had them as a child and was under the impression that I had for the most part grown out of them. My allergies when I was young were Cow’s Milk, eggs, fruits (all but the citrus type), melons (all), cucumbers, and avocado’s In that order of severity. I used to have reactions to them but as I got older I chose to eat them (not wanting to appear picky or just wanting to indulge like everyone else) and I seemed to be able to tolerate all but Milk. I’d never had milk in my diet from when I was in kindergarten which caused my body to stop producing the enzyme to break it down having had no need for it which then forced me to become severely lactose intolerant.

Soy became a very large crutch of mine for almost everything dairy related like ice cream, Starbucks lattes, and even cheeses. I was so used to the ritual of finding other ways of eating the things everyone loves to indulge in knowing that there is always an alternative. Having done it my whole life it was never an issue and never something I really missed.

Up until my blood test came back I had no fear of foods so long as they were dairy free. Much to my surprise when I receive a message from my allergist stating the following: Ambor, I know we talked about the possibility of you being allergic to a couple things, however surprisingly the results are quite different then what we might predicted. You are highly allergic to Corn and Soy and mildly allergic to peanuts and a little allergic to milk in that order.” As I listened to the message writing down the list my roommate was making dinner for us… when I hung up the phone and re-looked at the list it took me a second to read it over and allow the news to actually sink in…

‘SOY!’ I pause my thinking, ‘Wait, my morning lattes… (I run down the memorized Starbucks menu in my head realizing that my options are completely out!) then… oh no ICE CREAM too… breath, I can deal with this’

‘Ok next on the list, Corn… corn chips, salsa, grits, corn starch, uh oh this list of none foods is starting to grow.’ “Oh, my God, I am allergic to PEANUTS?! “ I say out loud. My roommate who happens to be a gourmet chef (yes I know this could potentially also be a factor to my gaining weight in the past year…) joins in on the conversation at this point.

“Really?! Don’t you eat a lot of peanuts? How didn’t you know that?” All I can see is the peanut butter I JUST purchased yesterday tucked away in a cabinet at my desk at work and then I can see myself collecting the bread, knife, napkin, and jelly to make my daily sandwich for lunch… the perfect lunch! I almost don’t hear my roommate mentioning over my shoulder looking at my list, “whow, Ambor that means no Soy sauce… ummm that’s almost in everything you eat with the amount of Asians you keep in your life.” OH NO, SOY SAUCE, OF COURSE, SOY! Great… that’s even worse then everything else, I think loudly in my head slowing starting to freak out. “What are you going to do for butter? You can’t have any of the alternatives either… they are all made of soy or corn. Oh, man, do you know how much food we eat that has High Fructose Corn Syrup in it?”

At this point I turn around still in shock and politely ask him to please stop talking. It’s a little over whelming to say the least about one of these things let alone to have the list so bluntly slammed down in front of me. One thing at a time.

Once I realize the severity of my allergies and talk to my allergist we decide that it’s really only something that can help me in my current situation to eliminate these allergens from my diet for a couple months while I am being treated and also to test and see if it makes a difference in how I feel. Though it may truly put a large dent in my ability to eat out or eat anything processed because, people, if you weren’t aware, Fructose Corn Syrup is in EVERYTHING that we have in the US. It’s alarming the amount in our diets and I’m not so sure it’s a good thing. Think about how it’s made and you tell me if it sounds natural to you?

I make a rash decision to gorge myself with all the food that I love to eat the following day and then aim to promptly cut myself off for what feels like could be eternity following my day of gluttony. I suppose it wasn’t the best idea… to eat a small qt of ice cream followed by pop corn and corn chips and glass of soy milk all after having eaten all day thinking of everything I would miss just to have one last bite. I ate as though it was going to be my last meal because as it felt like it was!

The next day I went cold turkey. I went to Starbucks and tried really hard to try and find something but ended up with green tea, which isn’t such a bad thing, cause I have been increasing the amount when I started antibiotics based on a story I read on a fellow bloggers blog a while back about it increasing the effect of antibiotics. For lunch I have a small simple fresh salad without dressing due to, you guessed it, corn syrup and thinking at lunch that it wasn’t so bad and that I might live through this.

When my stomach was ready for dinner (which came a lot earlier than I expected) at 4pm I started thinking about stopping to get something to eat… then quickly noticing that I had no idea about anything I could eat except at the store. So, I figured I would drop by and find something, anything quick on my way home. As the time grew closer to 5pm my energy level got worse and worse which is all normal these days, however I was starving this time without anything to eat and little energy to make it to the store. Still I pushed through the erg to crawl under my desk and sleep for just 15 min (knowing full well that it would be more like an hour) and somehow manage to make it to 5pm. I didn’t even say good bye to anyone as I took what little energy I had to gather my things and half drag my feet to my car.

As I am driving home I stop at a stop light and promptly loss my awareness for a brief second because of how comfortable the head rest is and how heavy my eyes feel. My past car accident flashes before my eyes and I’m quickly alert again but give into the fact that I need to just try and make it home safe and I throw away my ideas of going to the store knowing full well that my kitchen is only full of the newly forbidden poison.

When I arrive home safely too tired to care about my growling stomach I somehow find the energy to make it to my bed. I’m Grateful that my dog is so patient with my rushing her to hurry back inside (she’s used to getting rushed these days) I slump still in my work cloths in my bed and dont awaken for two hours. By then the sun has gone down and dark has fallen into my room and I lay still with my eyes awake but no energy to move any part of my body. I wonder why I’m awake and why I couldn’t have just fallen asleep for the night when I hear my groaning stomach, but for some reason no matter how hard I try and summon my body to move I can’t and I lay there for a long while contemplating my challenge and measuring how much energy I have and what my options are. Realizing that while I researched it to no end over the past two days I appeared to have researched what I COULDN’T eat and forgot to think about what I COULD which has brought me to this very situation where I have no idea what is safe and what isn’t making it all that much more effort to eat something. Ultimately no plan was built for this situation…

I hear a soft knock on my door which is odd because normally if the door is closed we all leave each other alone. I muster up enough energy to say come in and walks in my wonderful friend and personal chef! “Oh my goodness you look awful are you ok?” I only node yes and peer up at him noticing that I am in the same position I was when I first laid down for this nap. ”Have you eaten dinner yet?” This places me a little over the edge as it’s been the major issue for hours now… and I reply with a large grown and fight tears thinking how dumb of me to respond in such a way. (hate being so tired) To which my wonderful roomy replies, “OK, I take that as I no. I’m going shopping I’ll be back.”

I was lucky my roommate stepped in and knew what he was doing and created a tasty healthy safe dinner for me this night but the reality is I’ve learned my lesson with this situation. First you should make sure you plan accordingly when you decide to change something in your daily routine. Just like if you think you want to start incorporating exercise in your routine, you should make sure that you plan the day before and gather your tools or cloths to set yourself up for success. This is really something that can be suggestion for anything but I feel that for us Lyme Disease fighters it’s that much more important to make sure that we prepare ahead of time for crashing moments. It’s something I am normally good at but failed miserably with this new venture of a diet.

I also learned that when one is looking at a major change in one’s life we can’t focus on the negative (or think about what we "can’t ____") even with something as simple as food. Instead we should be researching what we can do. If you know you can’t run then figure out what you CAN do. If I can’t swim for the next month with my Picc line, I CAN ride my new stationary bike. For everything you list in your head that you can’t do anymore for your mental sanity you have to figure out an alternative. We can’t get wrapped up with a long list of things we can’t do as that is a little more than over whelming and can suck you in easily.

Lastly, this could possibly be the missing link for me! Taking these allergens out of my diet (which by the way I had no idea how much corn and soy I consumed daily till now) could be exactly what my healthy body needs to fight this war that appears to be going on inside me. Having knowledge of my own body can only mean more power.

Watch out Lyme, my body is about to be in its own element which means you’ll be fighting on MY home field and we all know that THAT swings the wining favor more towards me then YOU! If your not all that sure about my statement just ask the Yankee's how many games they have won on their own turf!